Preparing to Climb the Hill

I am so thankful that I was able to spend Mother's Day with my children and parents the week before beginning my transplant procedure, not to mention a powerful Encounter service at our church that same night we attended with the company of dear friends. The following morning, my sister drove up from Corpus Christi to, once again, walk with me through another stage of this journey. We loaded up the trusty Durango for yet another trip to UT Southwestern campus - this time at the Zale Lipshy Hospital on the 7th floor to the Bone Marrow Transplant unit. I was totally at peace and ready to get this thing done once and for all.
Monday May 18 - first half treatment of Melphalon (hard chemo) -smooth and easy
Tuesday May 19 - second half of Melphalon - still smooth.
Wednesday/Thursday - days off to process chemo - starting to get nauseous and lose appetite.
Friday - Carter blood center brings over my stored stem cells, thaws them; gives me 50 mg benadryl to help reduce side-efects. The whole procedure only took about 15 minutes...and I slept through it with all that Benadryl. That's about all I remember about Friday, except my sister telling me later that day she had to head back home to Corpus Christi.

Now, let the games begin. I was extremely nauseaus and out of it on Saturday. I could barely function enough to get to the restroom. My mom brought me homemade soup and I couldn't eat a single bite or pretty much even think about food. Just the sounds of their voices made me want to disappear. My body was under attack in every way. The nausea was debilitating and finally the nurses saw my suffering and began offering some relief. I took it, and some helped and some did not. My first thought was, dear God, how long am I gonna be in this timewarp - this is quite literally hell. Sunday wasn't much better. Most of my mornings begin with me hanging over the railing of my bed and puking into a pail or at the least gagging up volumes of mucosis. Then the daily routine of drawing my labs and weighing my big behind. So far, I've lost about 10 lbs, which is right on schedule, since I gained about 20 on those steroids earlier in the year. I have been struggling to take one day at a time and to stay close to the Father's side. He has turned my despair to hope each time I thought I couldn't make it another day. This week my red, white and platelet cells began plummeting as expected from the chemo -So next step is a blood transfusion. I was pretty nauseous but felt revitalized the following day. This morning my doctor checked my mouth and said "Poor baby...you have soars all in your mouth and espophogus." So, I have a special mouth wash to help control spreading, and a numbing gargle so I can swallow liquids, and now my favorite narcotic -Dilutid to help control the pain overall- ha. It feels like I have strep throat, and like I've had my tonsils removed, and my espophogus is completely out of control. Anything I try to swallow (even water) usually stops dead and it sends it back up. This has been the single greatest obstical other than the nausea. I literaly lay in bed and fantasize about all the drinks I'm gonna scarf down when this heals . It's funny how I am sitting in the middle of one the best known cities in the world, where you can get the best eating or drinking anywhere, and I would kill to guzzle a cold glass of water. The Lord used that relevatory moment to make a point over something I have been burdened for for quite some time. My gosh, are we (me) lavishing upon ourselves uncessary treasures, and ignoring the plea of Jesus to give a cup on cold water in His name? Not trying to convert anyone, but God has burdened some members of my family and particularly me these past few years to reach out to the least of these...and I can now relate to their pain and suffering on a much deeper level. http://www.lifetoday.org/site/PageServer
I complain because I have had some rough "days", but these precious children go to bed and wake up to the same reality and pain day after day. Thank you God for opening my blind eyes to the much bigger picture (one of many you have shown me throughout this journey) and thank you for letting us be your hands and feet.

Well, dear friends and family, I will get another platelet transfusion tommorrow which will help get my counts back up. That's really the name of the game...I get to leave when my white cells, redcells , and platelets get in the "preferred"range. They are on the move....Pray my cells would mulitiply exponentially an my stem cells would engraft speadily. My hope is to be out of here by next Tuesday or Wednesday. I have been in pretty much total isolation and my dear children rotate their time time between their jobs to stay with me night and day and offer comfort.- I am truly blessed. We've tried to conserve Tony's time off for when I come home from the hospital.

Thank you all for your prayers - please pray specifically for all cell counts to rise up quickly. This will assist my mouth and esophogus to heal at a quicker rate..

Also, pray that these hard drugs killed all the myeloma. We can tell from early tests that my kidneys are back to improving again. I am just a few points away from being normal. And also pray for God to bless the wonderful team of doctors, nurses, technicians, assistants, nutritionists, wonderful housekeeping people; they are all invested in caring for me and all the other patients way above and beyond a vocation- It is obvious these ladies and gentlemen have been "called" to their position to serve others.- Most of all, I Praise you God for your faithfulness to me .This has been a tough one, but, as usual, you never left my side or abandoned me. I pray that any mention of Praise or glory is all yours - the Great Physician, and author and finisher of my life.